Araneæ Diem
by F12Scuderia
Summary: Each year on February 14, people exchange cards, candy or flowers with their special "valentine." On this particular day, the notorious Phantom Troupe decides to take this Valentine's Day extra special with competitions, threats, and dead people—but who's to say that there would not be laughter, holding hands, dinners, and sunsets? (Various Spiders OC, Pandæmonium universe)
1. Prologue

**Arane****æ**** Diem**

_**Prologue**_

* * *

"Valentine's Day?" Valtiel repeats.

"Yeah. Happens every February 14," Shalnark explains as he tweaks into his latest stolen laptop.

She falls silent for a while and looks around the place.

The Troupe members are hiding in an abandoned warehouse after their successful museum heist last night. Phinks and Franklin are lazing in a corner, surrounded by empty beer bottles. The others are quiet in their corner, none of them too eager to speak or argue with each other. Omokage had found materials somewhere with which to make his new dolls.

Chrollo, for once not insisting that Valtiel should be at his side, sits at the raised platform at the center. His candles surround him as he reads his books. His pale face is silhouetted against the light. He feels someone's stare on him and looks up, and smiles.

Valtiel turns back to Shal. "I seem to recall a story of a Saint Valentine who was beheaded after he refused to denounce his faith," she says. "Is that what Valentine's Day celebrates? A death of a priest?"

"What? No!" Shalnark looks horrified.

"I think her version of Valentine's sounds better," Uvogin's voice cackles somewhere in the dimness.

"Don't listen to him." Shalnark shakes his head and types away on his laptop. "Valentine's Day is a celebration of romance and love in many parts of the world. It's very popular among teenager couples. They go around in dates and give gifts and have fun during the day."

"Yeah, right." Feitan snorts in distaste. "Chocolates and stuffed bears… Those kind of stuff, right?"

"I'm surprised you know about those things, Fei," Bonolenov muses. Underneath his bandages, his mouth quirks into a small smirk.

"Have you ever even been on a date?" Pakunoda looks up from where she is doing her nails.

Feitan hisses at them. "Of course not."

Valtiel blinks and raises a hand. "I have never been on a date before."

"That's because you're too young for dates." Phinks belches beer. "You're like, what, sixteen?"

"I am eighteen," Valtiel says, quite indignant. She turns her entire body so she could face the man's wide, teasing grin. He simply grins wider, no doubt amused at her. "That's not too young."

"Well, for one thing, I am sure Nobunaga never had a date, too." Shalnark laughs.

"Who cares anyway?!" Somewhere in the warehouse's shadows, Nobunaga shouts.

Before anyone thinks twice about it, the Spiders begin asking each other questions about dates. It stretches on for what seems like hours, most male Spiders denying ever been on a proper date. Pakunoda has been on dates for several times, while Machi went on a few, with her clients. By the end of it all, almost half of the group is annoyed that the Kurta girl even brought up the topic in the first place.

Then Shalnark suddenly stands and slams his hands on the table. "I have an idea!"

Yuan sighs. "Oh, boy. Here we go."

"Why don't we all go for a date tomorrow? Every one of us?" Shalnark cheerfully asks. His beaming face contrasts his friends' dark, sulking looks. He waves them off with another laugh. "We can turn it into a game! Whoever gives the best date wins a prize! It could be money or some kind of treasure!"

"I don't want to take Machi on a date," Nobunaga complains. "She's too picky."

"Good, because I don't want to be dated by you," Machi snaps.

"Then Machi can choose not to participate," Shalnark says evenly. He searches around the warehouse and notices that the others seem interested. He turns to Pakunoda. "What about you, Paku? Care to join?"

The blonde woman purses her lips as she stares long at Valtiel's innocent face. Her brown eyes brighten as she saunters over to the other, and then slings an arm over Valtiel's shoulders and pulls her flush against her. "I can take Val out on a date."

Phinks is the first to react, bewildered. "Wh-Wh-What are you saying?! You're a girl!"

"And girls _can_ date other girls," Paku intones, one eyebrow raised.

"I'd rather take Val out for a date myself," Machi adds, hands on her hips and standing on Valtiel's other side.

Phinks flushes in embarrassment and turns away with a careless toss of his hand. "Bah! Whatever!"

"Okay, then." Shalnark heaves a deep sigh, his green eyes trailing to where the Kurta girl is flanked between the two female Spiders. She blinks at him when he stares, and then he grins when an idea pops up. "Okay! So here's the deal: anyone who wants to compete should take Valtiel on a date tomorrow. She would decide which one of us gives the best date. In return, you'd get a prize."

"What kind of prize?" Omokage sounds interested. He puts down his ragdoll and leans forward.

"Hm. Not sure." Shalnark taps his chin.

Franklin leans back on the wall, gesturing with a large hand. "I don't really care, but I'm in."

Uvogin flinches and gives Franklin an incredulous look. "Oh! You are?!"

"Of course." Franklin snorts. "I'm not a quitter."

"Me neither!" Uvogin growls at Shalnark. "Count me in!"

"Well, if Uvo and Franklin are in, then so am I," Nobunaga says.

One by one, the Spiders confirm that they are indeed participating−not for the thrill or experience of dating, but to spite each other and to win the competition. The competition is already heated between the competitors, each one of them glaring and spitting insults. Valtiel, still surrounded by the rambunctious Spiders, sighs and does not try to comprehend how her question about Valentine's Day has turned into some bloody game.

Shalnark waves at their leader. "Danchou! Everyone's participating! Do you want to participate, too?"

Chrollo tears his dark gaze away from the pages of his book. Then he shakes his head, much to their surprise. They anticipated that their leader would want some action.

"No, thank you," he answers, going back to his book. "Have fun tomorrow."

"Huh." Uvogin blinks. "Weird."

"Definitely weird," Bono murmurs back.

"If Danchou's not participating, then maybe he can provide for the prizes tomorrow?" Yuan turns electric-blue eyes to their leader.

Passively, Chrollo only nods, his eyes never leaving his novel.

"So, what are the rules to this game, Shal?" Omokage asks.

"Okay! Since there's twelve of us, we have to impose a time limit so that everyone can have a turn. How about one hour for each date? That should be fair enough." Shalnark gestures with his hands. "That's twelve hours worth of dates, which−of course−is your decision on how it is to be done. One hour for each competitor, including travel time to the date destination."

"And the order of the dates?" Kortopi prompts.

"We can just go depending on our tattoo numbers," Yuan suggests.

"Sounds like a plan!" Shalnark chirps, and then points at Nobunaga. "Looks like you're first, Nobu!"

Nobunaga groans and glares at the young woman on the table. They stare at each other for a while, like enemies levelling one another in the battlefield. At length, it is him who first turns away with a defeated sigh.

"Fine, whatever," he says, sliding across the floor to lay on his side. "First come, first serve."

Feitan still sounds unimpressed. "What time we start?"

"We can start six in the morning and finish six in the evening," Franklin says.

"Six in the evening?!" Phinks barks, sounding offended. "Damn! Bono's the last one! They can do the sunset-watching-crap couples always do! That's like… already a bonus!"

"Oh! Thanks for giving me that idea, Phinks," Bonolenov quips.

"What?! NO!" Phinks gasps.

Shalnark laughs and claps his hand. "Okay, okay! Time to start preparing, ladies and gentlemen!"

* * *

**Author's Notes:** Well, well, caramel! Look who's making a comeback after the promise of a Valentine's Day Special for Pandæmonium's 100 reviews?

Since you guys have been nothing but extremely friendly and supportive, I'd love to publish this side story for all of you! This will be about 13 chapters long, with one short chapter for each Spider dates. Any opinions and suggestions to make the Troupe's "Valentine Competition" more exciting and crazier, please leave reviews and let me know!

Is there any particular scene or idea you want me to write with Val and a certain Spider? Leave a review! Should Phinks remain a sputtering mess? Leave a review! Should Omokage remain a creep? Leave a review! Do you or do you not want Chrollo to stalk his Spiders while they're out dating Val? DEFINITELY leave a review! 😂😂😂

On a side note, I've been having problems with publishing my stories due to my MS Office (where I only write the chapters) has deactivated and now I cannot access, edit, and even copy-paste my stories to other writing platforms. And a new Office costs like a hundred dollars! I should start a GoFundMe, really. Haha! Still, I managed to get this published, and I _**really** _wanted it published today because it's Kurapika's birthday! I wanted to do something for my Golden Boy for his birthday, even if it means torturing Val with twelve(?) dates in a row.

That's all for now! Until I could figure out my MS Office, at least. Hopefully, I could do something about it. I'll publish the next chapters when I could. Thank you very much guys for all the love and support! You're all the best and I hope you have a great week!

P.S. Happy birthday, Kurapika! 💖 P̶l̶e̶a̶s̶e̶ ̶s̶t̶o̶p̶ ̶k̶i̶l̶l̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶s̶e̶l̶f̶ ̶i̶n̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶m̶a̶n̶g̶a̶.̶


	2. Date 1: Nobunaga Hazama

**Date 1: Nobunaga Hazama**

* * *

Nobunaga taps his foot impatiently on the floor. He wears the most casual clothes he could steal: brown leather coat, grey shirt underneath, and black jeans, stylishly ripped at the sides. His black hair is pulled into a long ponytail over his shoulder. Despite the casualness of his appearance, he did not bother shaving the stubble on his chin. His katana hangs on his left hip as he taps his foot again. And again.

Then he feels the familiar presence. He turns, ready to glare, but then he blinks at his supposed date's appearance. He wonders if Machi or Pakunoda took their time dressing the Kurta girl.

Valtiel wears a cream-colored dress with light pink rose patterns. Her platinum blonde hair is pulled up into a half-ponytail with a ribbon, her hair falling over her back and shoulders in thick waves. She wears low-heeled shoes and carries a roseate trench coat over her left arm.

"I am sorry it took so long, Nobu-san," she says, bowing. "I couldn't find the proper clothes."

"I don't care about your clothes." Nobunaga rolls his eyes. He turns for the restaurant's door and trudges in, without any concern for his companion.

Valtiel follows closely behind but the large glass door slams her _right_ in the face.

Nobunaga winces. "Oh, heck! You all right, kid?" He checks at the girl, half-confused and half-horrified.

"I'm all right," she assures him as she caresses her aching cheek.

"Good lord, save me." He feels quite sheepish doing this. At twenty-five, he should not be dating her, who is essentially a child in his eyes.

But "dating" is such a weird, gross term. Doesn't the term "hang out" sound better?

A twenty-five-year-old hanging out with the Kurta girl.

Yeah.

That sounds better.

Somewhat.

Ugh.

He leads her to a corner he reserved for them last night. It is by the corner window, the warm February sunlight spilling and illuminating their face. Outside, young couples already start crowding the streets. Nobunaga wants to groan aloud and regret this decision. But he cannot quit now. He knows, somewhere out there, that the other Spiders are stalking them. Damn Zetsu users.

A female server takes their order, to which Nobunaga orders the same food for his date. The server eyes the strange couple for a while, earning a quick glare from the samurai. When the server leaves, an awkward silence follows.

Nobunaga knows he has to start a conversation. He clears his throat, leaning both arms on the table. "So, uh, how are your memories coming along, kiddo? Remember some bits yet?"

"Quite a few after we left Desara City," she says, her eyes on his face, searching for something. "I mean, I do remember Meteor City and some of our days back then. The games, stormy nights, winter seasons. And then−" She shakes her head, frowning a little−"I remember the founding of the Troupe, how I refused to become a member…"

"Oh…" He nods, quite uncertain how to add lie over another lie. "Well, you're here with us now, whether you are a Spider or not. Makes sense though, right? You've been with us since day one."

Her frown turns upside down, into a little relieved smile. "Yes, I like being with you guys."

"But you should really be careful," he advises as he leans back on his chair and looks outside again. The teenager couples are holding hands and feeding each other cotton candies. He shudders. "It is very dangerous to be hanging around with the Troupe during missions. You're too… weak…"

"Ah, about that−" She smiles at him, so innocent. "Can you teach me Nen?"

"Nen? Why in the world should I do that? And who told you about Nen?"

"Just a couple of people. Danchou explained it to me briefly a few weeks ago. Won't you teach me?"

"No can do, kiddo." Nobunaga shakes his head and wags in index finger in the air. "If Danchou decides you are not eligible to learn Nen, then you do as he says. He knows best about everything, all right? Now, wipe that surly look off your face and don't even try learning Nen behind our backs. Do you hear me?"

"Quite loud and clear, Nobu-san."

"It better be. I won't stand if you do anything behind our backs. That's not what a family does, okay?" He keeps on lecturing her, but at the word family, he notices how she perks and softens. He supposes he has chosen a good word to persuade her. He nods to himself, quite proud. "If you ever need anything, ask us for help. Danchou's not the only person in your world, you know. There's also us."

Valtiel smiles softly. "Yes, that sounds wonderful, Nobu-san."

He nods again. "Exactly," he says. "But look, here comes our breakfast. I hope you like ramen!"

Her eyes light up as she peers down on the steaming bowl. Mouth watering already, she copies Nobunaga when he snaps the chopsticks and starts digging into his bowl. Her own chopsticks are suspended in midair, while she studies how it is to be done.

"Hm, wvhat?" Nobu says through a mouthful. "What're ya lookin' ath?"

"I don't know how to use chopsticks."

He blinks dumbly at her. "...What?"

"I don't know how to use chopsticks," she says louder, cheeks flushing red in embarrassment.

"You're kidding me."

"No!" She wants the ground to open up and swallow her.

"Come now, it's easy!" Unexpectedly, Nobunaga reaches across the table and grabs her hand that holds the sticks. His rough fingers guide hers to the correct form. "See? You hold it like that, make it firm so the noodles won't fall. When you lift, bring your head down so you won't spill on your dress. Like this−" He demonstrates, slurping the noodles and heaving a deep, contented sigh.

Valtiel, like a toddler enlightened by the new knowledge, follows the man's instructions−but slurps her noodles too sloppily that they hand down her chin, wet and dripping. She makes a disgusted face at herself and makes another large slurp, gathering more and more noodles inside her mouth that it makes both her cheeks puff up.

And Nobunaga, watching the show with a front-row seat, bursts out in laughter.

She glares at him through a mouthful.

He keeps laughing, and then eventually stops by wiping the tears from his eyes. "Oh, you're hilarious, kiddo. We should keep you around more often. It's easier to have you around."

Golden eyes roll at him. Valtiel tries to chew and swallow, but then she starts coughing. Nobunaga's bout of laughter starts again… and again… until he notices that the kid is pale, and sweating, and _choking_.

"Holy shit! _Kid!_" He starts up to his feet, panicking. Now, _he_ is the one sweating. "Don't die on my because of ramen!"

* * *

**Author's Notes:** On the scale of 1 to 10, how likely is Nobunaga gonna with the Valentine's Competition? 😂😂

I'm still accepting ideas how the other dates should go.

Next up: Feitan!

Thank you for reading!


	3. Date 2: Feitan Portor

**Date 2: Feitan Portor**

* * *

An hour later, Feitan finds himself sneering before a ramen restaurant. How stupid of Nobunaga to take his date into a ramen restaurant for breakfast. Still, the dark-haired thief plans to wait out here for his turn. His friend and his "date" should be leaving anytime now. Feitan wears a black overcoat with golden buttons and black pants. He has his bandana on its usual place, to hide his ever-growing sneer.

At last, Nobunaga and Valtiel exit together. Feitan steps forward, grabs Valtiel around the wrist, and whisks her away from the samurai without even a glance at Nobunaga's offended "Hey!"

Feitan glares at his date's confused expression. "Time is ticking," he says. "Let's proceed to our date."

Among all the Troupe members, Valtiel is most scared and distant to this man. She has limited interactions with him: her being always with Danchou, him always with the others. Sure enough, they have spoken to each other a few times before, but they are never so close and alone as they are now. Seated on the passenger seat in his stolen car, she could already feel him irritated that he has to compete in such a ridiculous competition.

The one-hour time limit of their date has already begun, but Feitan seems content to keep on driving and ignoring her. Valtiel wonders how he intends to win if he is not even talking. At least Nobunaga was friendly to her, and helped her remember some childhood secrets that Uvogin is embarrassed about. And her stomach still gurgles from the excessive ramen...

"Um, Feitan-san, where are we going?" she asks, trying to be friendly.

"Don't call me that," he hisses.

She immediately clamps her mouth shut. Unlike Danchou, who has the universe's patience in his system, she figures she could not provoke this one by throwing snide comments.

"Just Feitan is good," he adds in an undertone.

"Okay." She could not help but smile. Finally, they are talking. "But where are we going?"

"There's a place up ahead. Just you wait."

Five minutes later, Feitan parks the black car under a tree and directs her towards a carnival. At this time in the morning, the carnival is closed and quiet, without any signs of guests and guards around. Feitan walks over the numerous ropes and destroys a picket fence that blocks their pathway.

He trudges on, hands in his pocket, dark eyes forever darted forward. He has no intentions explaining what they are doing here, despite the fact that he could feel her curiosity hanging in the air.

He stops in front of a large building. Destroyed tiled roofs, walls smudged with blood and mud, windows creaking quietly, a short flight of wooden stairs to the tilted door. The carnival's horror house is its most famous attraction, though, right now, so early in the morning, no one is around but the two of them.

And a guard.

"Hey!" A dark-skinned youth in a guard's white-and-blue uniform approaches them. "Carnival's still closed!"

"We know," Feitan answers.

"Then get the hell outta here!" The guard shouts at Feitan. Receiving no response, he growls and turns to the young woman. He reaches out for something in his pocket, and she backs away in caution.

"You touch her, I break your fingers," Feitan warns the guard.

"Get lost, punks!" The guard points a gun at Feitan, and then at Valtiel. "Still too early for you idiots to get in there and play house! Come back later in the night. Better yet, don't come back at all!" He steps closer to Valtiel again.

In a swish of a dark coat, Feitan sidesteps the screaming guard. He looks at Valtiel over his shoulder, raising a dark eyebrow at her. "Well, you coming or not?"

On the grassy floor, the guard continues screaming and cradling his severed right hand. Every bone of his fingers is meticulously snapped in half, but the skin itself is not broken, forcing the wound to bleed internally. He writhes and sputters curses, but receives no pity from the thief.

Feitan snaps the door locks and opens it. "Let's go, little girl."

Valtiel shudders as she catches up to him. "Don't call me that."

Her ears perk up again as she hears a slight chuckle. Feitan? Chuckling? She must be hearing things. She shivers at the mere thought of it as she follows him deeper into the dark house.

It smells of old wood and dust and something sour, like a rotting food. Her right hand brushes against the wall, guiding herself in the shadows, while the thief walks as if in a park. Yet she could barely see in this darkness, and she still could not understand what Feitan is trying to accomplish here.

She feels him pause. Then, for a quick second, his presence disappears. "Fei−?"

With her left hand, she reaches around the darkness, trying to get a hold of his coat or arm or anything. She almost stumbles when her feet reach the end of a hallway, leading to a descending flight of stairs. Without anyone leading her, she climbs down the stairs and her heels step onto something damp and squelching. The scent of rot hangs heavier in this part of the house, and she still wonders what happened to Feitan.

"Feitan…?" She covers her nose with a hand. "I smell something strange over here."

"Oh." A quiet voice comes somewhere. Then follows light, careful steps. "Watch where you're going."

"How? This place is so dark."

Another shuffling in the darkness. He pulls a fabric from something and the scent increases a dozen. Then Feitan snickers quite wickedly.

"And God said, 'Let there be light,' and there was light."

And there was light, indeed.

It takes a few more blinks for Valtiel's eyes to get accustomed with the sudden light. She sees Feitan standing across the dining room, his bandana tucked away in his pocket, his malicious grin easy to place.

Then it takes her another good while to notice the corpse of a priest sprawled at the dining room's center, his stomach wide open, his bloodied guts and flesh spread over the cracked tiles. Judging from the blood's dampness and the stink, the corpse is only a few hours old. Flies and rats swarm around the corpse.

She wrinkles her nose in disgust. "What...?"

A sadistic gleam dances in his black eyes. "Why, you wanted to celebrate a death of a priest, right? Here's your priest, Reverend Valentine Knox." Feitan chuckles again. "Happy Valentine's Day, little girl."

* * *

**Author's Notes:** On scale of 1 to 10, how likely will you go out with Feitan with this kind of Valentine's Date? Asking for a friend, lol.

No, but really, how likely is Fei gonna win this competition?

Also, I'm still accepting ideas/suggestions on how the other Spiders will do on their dates? Is there any particular scenario that you would wish to see the Spiders in? Let me know and I'll do my best to add it into the story.

Next up: Machi!

Thank you all for reading (and don't forget to read the latest chapter of the main series Pandæmonium as well!)

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone! 💕


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